#but really valid for any verse

[themarcspector-hasmoved]

claudia dardashti headcanon:

she's typically wearing some form of gloves. it has nothing to do with really anything other than she doesn't like skin to skin contact unless she's fond of you. and to be honest, she just does not like touching things with bare hands, either.

there's more to this that i might expand on, but i feel like basically the gist is, cloud's always wearing gloves unless she's fond of you, and then she's not.

[feminurge]

do you ever think about istar's hair. and how she has never cut it since staying with the elves in eryri. it was so long and beautiful and always braided. decorated with little trinkets. sometimes still red from whoever she murdered. how she has always taken care of it, be it irrdith or a lover. how she doesn't let herself think of home, but she takes such pride in her hair. there are only two things that came out of eryri, and it's istar and khairos. but then orin ruined it. istar got punished. hair cut, dragon dead.

[redxx95]

Exploring Kurosawa's internalized homophobia and compulsive heteronormativity

oh yea baby we bustin out the Big Words for this one 😎

This was supposed to be posted at the end of pride month but Life happened and it got delayed a lot 😩 So yea happy pride month (and happy birthday Kurosawa I guess 😂)

(btw I think I've never mentioned this on any of my other posts but english is not my first language, so if anything I write ever sounds awkward, that's probably why 😅) (also I had to merge a bunch of images to get around the image limit, this post is really long, the word count is at 1930 words 💀)

Hope you guys enjoy the read! 💞

Spoilers for anything up to vol 11

Let me start this by saying that there's no actual textual evidence of Kurosawa being gay (rather than bi/pan), so this interpretation is definitely veering towards headcanon territory. I'm also not trying to establish this as the only Correct opinion and anyone is of course allowed to have their own sexuality headcanons, this is very healthy and valid 👍

Kurosawa's internalized homophobia

The first scene I want to put under a magnifying glass is this one.

Let's examine what's going on here: Kurosawa has just tried to kiss Adachi, whose hesitation he perceived as disgust. Then he pretends it was disgusting for him too, because he thinks that is the average reaction anyone would have, extending this to Adachi as well. The way he says "who'd be into that?" is already lowkey homophobic, but the japanese line makes it even more evident: "普通嫌だよな" (= "Normally, you'd dislike that right?"). Keyword here being "普通" = "normal, ordinary", implying that anyone who would like that is abnormal. So what does that say about him then, who was so happy to get the chance to kiss another man? This is pretty much textbook internalized homophobia, where he has accepted what he perceives to be the general opinion on gay people and has made those values his own, hating himself for it (albeit only briefly here), which is why he internally apologizes to Adachi.

This is not the only instance of him feeling like that, although this next part is slightly more speculative than the more obvious example above.

So we all know that Kurosawa is a jealous, jealous man. It's one of his defining character traits and it's often the source of conflict and comedy alike. But he does not express his jealousy equally across genders. With men he has this strong rivalry where he needs to prove himself better and more worthy of Adachi's attention.

But with women he has a different approach: gently coaxing them away from him, lest they realize what a catch Adachi really is.

So, why this difference? The answer I have is that he doesn't actually believe he can compete with a woman. If Adachi wants to be close with a man, Kurosawa thinks it might as well be him, he's the best option after all. But if Adachi wants a woman, he cannot offer anything and is therefore the inferior option. He believes this even after he found out Adachi's not completely repulsed at the idea of being with a man. Even if Adachi's okay with men, he'll always prefer a woman.

And whenever he imagines anyone else with Adachi, it's always a woman, specifically Fujisaki, which he believes is "his type".

And he at least thinks he's very far away from that ideal. (He's not but that's a topic for a different essay.) If anyone's wondering why he even bothers at all then if he's so sure that a woman will out-compete him, I think the lyrics from the anime opening actually put it best, specifically the last verse:

I have these impatient feelings I doubt this love will come to fruition But still I can't give up this happiness There's a feeling here I can't resist A love like a castle in the sky

So basically, his plan is that he might as well ride the high of his first ever crush as far as it will go, intercepting where he can to prolong it just that little bit further, until it all inevitably comes to an end. (a castle in the sky = an unreachable dream) This plan kind of fluctuates throughout volumes 1-3 as Adachi gives him a bunch of mixed signals, but it holds true most of the time.

Adachi's side

Now I'd like to highlight the way Adachi actually thinks about their relationship, because it serves as a great contrast to Kurosawa's assumptions about him.

Throughout the first three volumes we see him grapple with his newfound feelings for Kurosawa, but he (almost) never puts his gender at the forefront of his musings. The manga makes it very clear that it's his lack of romantic experience and low self esteem that make it hard for him to accept Kurosawa's affections, and not the fact that he's a man.

This second page here being his own little gay awakening, where he realizes that he is not, in fact, disgusted by intimacy with a man.

It's also worth mentioning that when he later introduces Kurosawa to his parents (ch 41), they are immediately welcoming of him, suggesting he grew up in a very tolerant environment.

And it's not like he's completely unaware of heteronormativity/homophobia either, especially after he does his research in vol 8, but he is slightly more defiant in responding to it.

(I love how he just buys that bag he probably doesn't need that's supposed to come with all the wedding magazines, just as this very tiny act of rebellion.)

So now that we can see how different Kurosawa's thought patterns are compared to Adachi's, the next question we should ask ourselves is: Why is he like that?

Heteronormativity in Kurosawa's life

(yes we're finally getting to the comphet part of the essay 😂)

First let's look at the environment he grew up in. There are not many scenes with his family, but from those that we do have, we can at least make some assumptions about how he must've been raised.

His mother is clearly the authority figure in his life, judging by how she's described as "strong" and how terrified he is at her merely setting down a teacup (while Adachi has a more mild reaction). Her reaction to the news of them dating and Kurosawa expecting his parents to go as far as disowning him for it would suggest that she might just be generally homophobic.

But when they actually go meet her we see this slightly more nuanced perspective.

She's not entirely against it, but she does believe they are making a mistake by choosing to be together, hence why she thinks they might "regret it". There's many hardships that gay couples in Japan face, some of which we even see discussed in the manga, so it's not hard to see why she would be concerned for her son. The way she talks about Kurosawa never causing any problems, but "changing" ever since he fell for Adachi further supports that conformity is what she believes will ultimately lead to a successful, happy life. And that's also why she accepts Adachi later, when he's made it abundantly clear in his speech that they are happier in this non-conforming relationship than they were without it.

To contrast, her other child Mari is shown to have a very progressive stance (see: her pep talk in ch 47) and it would not surprise me if that is the reason she's rarely in japan and is never seen together with her family, save for the one time they're all at the wedding. She might find the conforming environment too restrictive and preferring to keep her distance. (shoutout to naina for this bit 🙏)

So that's Kurosawa's family situation. Now let's check how his social circle holds up.

From what we see of his friends, they never even seem to consider him possibly being with a man.

And his work environment seems rather toxic to say the least.

It clearly dictates traditional gender roles as the ideal. Nobody except Fujisaki even clocks any of Kurosawa's advances on Adachi as romantic in nature, even though he seems to be quite obvious about it (see: ch 34.5). And it's not like dating in general is discouraged at Toyokawa either, as we can see from all the women constantly vying for Kurosawa's attention.

From all this we can conclude that Kurosawa's upbringing and social/work environment is painfully heteronormative and until he falls for Adachi it seems he never questioned the status quo either.

The famous onsen scene, while funny, also reveals the sad truth that Kurosawa, in his 30 years of life, probably never even had the chance to explore his sexual orientation, rather focusing on being "perfect" in his straight relationships.

Speaking of those relationships...

He apparently had a bunch of girlfriends, who all seem to have dumped him pretty early on. His mother's surprise at him expressing a willingness to commit also makes me think he's never brought anyone home either. He also only seems to have a surface level understanding of what a proper relationship is supposed to entail, if his idea of an ideal date is just "what the average person" thinks is romantic. So why were all of his relationships so short-lived? Before I answer that...

Intermission: Kurosawa's smiles

It has come to my attention that this is not common knowledge, so let me explain: There's a way to tell apart Kurosawa's fake smiles from his real ones, without any context clues, just purely visually.

Real smiles: (ch 23, 24, 37)

Fake smiles: (ch 5, 13, 32)

The difference being very simple: Blush = real, no blush = fake 👍 And before anyone mentions it: No he doesn't just blush when he's around Adachi, that last fake smile is actually directed at him. (ch 32)

Edit from the future: This holds true like 90% of the time, but as Toyota's art style becomes more detailed, this doesn't apply as much in the newer volumes. I think there's also new details added that I haven't quite figured out yet so take this bit with a grain of salt. (The images below are still from her early art style though.)

So now that we have this additional knowledge, let's take a look at every instance Kurosawa is paired with a woman.

He's smiling in all of these. Not a single one has a real smile in it though.

I think he's never actually had his heart in any of his relationships, and the girls probably noticed it and that's why they dumped him.

And, of course, the first time he actually falls in love...

... just so happens to be with a man.

Even his friends comment on this, who have known him since high school.

It's almost funny how perfectly this aligns with real life gay people. Having numerous, short-lived relationships with people of the "wrong" gender is one of the more common traits of compulsive heteronormativity. (source: me oof) (but also shoutout to the "Am I a lesbian?" masterdoc, google it if you don't know, it's truly eye-opening)

After dating Adachi

So we have already established that he's far happier when he does finally get to date Adachi, but do any of his other thought patterns change?

Honestly it seems like he throws every single reservation about being seen as gay out the window.

He starts bragging like crazy about his new relationship to anyone willing (and unwilling) to listen, he has no qualms about PDA, he marks Adachi up and down so everyone knows he's taken and the only thing stopping him from proclaiming his love for Adachi to the whole world is the still very much existing societal homophobia. But he is a lot more easy-going about it now than he ever was before.

And I think the best way to describe this mental shift is, hear me out, the date song from volume 4...

... specifically the last 2 verses as a whole, and this section in particular:

"I won't let anyone divide our fraction! You couldn't pry this thrill from my hands when they're cold and dead!"

Horrible lyrics aside, this perfectly encapsulates how Kurosawa simply couldn't care less anymore now that he finally has what he's wanted for more than a year, maybe even his whole life. All the societal pressure pales in comparison to the sheer euphoria he feels at finally having someone that he loves and who loves him back just as strongly, feeling cared for and seen like no one else ever did.

And, you know, just happens to be a man. 🏳️‍🌈

[nothorses]

I came across this paper:

https://www.academia.edu/71372307/Trans_masculinities_embodiments_performances_and_the_materiality_of_gender_in_times_of_change

I'm not well-versed in academic language so I can't really understand all of it, but it seems kind of gross and condescending, especially when it's using testimonials of transmasc's desire to be seen as men to, idk, prove that masculinity isn't really queer or something? I'm curious how other (smarter) people would interpret it.

I mean, your understanding of it is just as important as mine! I'm happy to add my thoughts, though.

My understanding is that their thesis is essentially "masculinity is related to maleness and the male body specifically, and we know that because transmascs want to have male bodies". They allow for some nuance here in references to other literature, and I agree with that angle of their argument overall, but their premise is fundamentally flawed in the exclusion of trans theory and trans narratives.

Like, yes, masculinity is in some way related to appearance and the "male body", and there are a lot of reasons for that! But is the dysphoria of trans people really ironclad "proof" of what maleness and masculinity are? And why don't they spend any time talking about what dysphoria actually is, what trans people think it is, why trans people think they feel the way they do, or what trans academics have to say about any of this?

I have a lot of other issues with this paper as well, and I could probably write a paper just as long as theirs going into all of the reasons for that. But I think that answers your biggest question; what they're trying to prove, how they're trying to prove it, and why that comes across so weird.

To your other question ("is it condescending?"): I think this is kind of subjective overlay, but the way they go about analyzing their data is pretty condescending, in my opinion. They tend to frame their participants' responses as kind of misguided or ill-informed, particularly Diniz- who they definitely discuss as "trying to justify his choices" to identify as nonbinary while also seeking medical transition, like this is inherently contradictory and must therefore rely on some kind of delusion or desperation. It's weird!

I do also want to point out, briefly, that they also really cherrypick which claims they bother sourcing, and how they try to back them up.

They argue that trans men have male privilege based on the opinions of, like, three of their 30 total participants- and then carry this as "fact" through the entire paper, uncontested. That's extremely fucking weird and super suspect in a paper like this! I just wrote my own qualitative research paper based on interviews (which is what this is), and it's pretty standard to acknowledge the limitations of your research, and to position your results as non-definitive. Like, that's been a major part of every discussion with everyone I've talked to about my research. I would not have been greenlit to receive my degree if I hadn't been careful to avoid framing my research the way these people frame theirs.

The other weird thing they do is cherrypick statistics- or rather, one single statistic- to "prove" that transmascs do not suffer as much as other trans people, or possess some kind of privilege. They only cite murder statistics from one source; apparently that's the only relevant metric for quantifying all oppression? They also fail to acknowledge any possible shortcomings of this statistic, like the issues of under-reporting and misgendering of transmasc victims.

I could go on; I have a lot of gripes. But I think your criticism is totally valid, this was a weird and frustrating read.

Also curious if @genderkoolaid has thoughts- you tend to talk about gender studies from an academic position more, and you probably have a lot more field-specific expertise than I do. I'll boost other additions too, I love a good academic discussion!

[wangxianficfinder]

I'm in the mood for...

July 23rd

~*~

1. Hello :D

Itmf a few things

A. xy and wwx both getting adopted by the jiang clan and maybe xy helping to matchmake wangxian?

b. any wangxian fics where xy and wwx are besties

c. wangxian fics with songxuexiao as a bg ship

1A)

Growing from Mud by Aly_H (M, 147k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, SongXiao, SangYang, QingJue, XiCheng, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Adoption, Injury, YunMeng Jiang XY, Canonical Character Death, Slow Burn, Major Character Injury, Angst Angst with a Happy Ending, Wrongful Imprisonment, PTSD)

1B)

Debts of a Child by Hauntcats (M, 115k, WangXian, dark, YZY Bashing, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Angst and Feels, lots of anger, JC Bashing, not Jiang friendly, Angst with a Happy Ending, Content warning for icky spiders in later chapters.) wwx and xy are adopted brother as wwx leaves the jiang clan early on

🔒Tangled Threads by merakily (T, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop dramaas they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit)

🔒 necromancy is a valid career path! Series by coslyons, Skadiseven (T, 41k, WangXian, XY & WWX & WN & WQ, Modern with Magic AU, Seattle, Necromancy, Found Family, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Gardens & Gardening, Mathematics, Running, Growing up) foster kid vibes

[Podfic of] Tangled Threads by Merakily by AuntieIroh (T, 30-45min, WWX & XY, A-Q & XY & SL & XXC, Modern, High School, Humor, Armchair Therapy, XY gets the therapy he deserves, Confused XY, WWX & XY Friendship, XY just has some teenage angst he's working through, this is basically a xy+aq buddy cop drama, as they try to figure out wangxian's whole deal, XY learns how to knit, Song: Angry (The Rolling Stones)) therapist rather than bestie but they like each other!

1C)

🔒 live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, snl au, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, A Family Can Just Be The Staff Of A Popular Late Night Sketch Show, Pining, Getting Together, Modern, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, and they were ROOMMATES, Frottage, Light Bondage, could not be lighter or gentler bondage) songxuexiao is very subtle but its there

Time After Time by ghosthouses (T, 4k, WangXian, SongXueXiao, High School, 80's Romance AU, Prom, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Mutual Pining, oblivious wangxian, the xuesongxiao is mostly background, fixing love triangles with polyamory, lwj in a suit)

Violet Spider's Choice by tkbenjamin (M, 62k, WangXian, XiYao, SongXueXiao, XuanLi, JFM/YZY, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Kid Fic, Yin Iron, Good Parent JFM, Good Parent YZY, JGY Redemption, XY Redemption, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, LWJ Spoils WWX, No Underage Sex, Everybody Lives, Murder gremlins)

~*~

2. Please help, oh wonderful FicFinders! This is an ITMF request: any fic that is really harsh on Madam Yu but does NOT include Jiang Cheng bashing. Especially if she suffers some comeupance for the way she treats WWX+her kids.

🔒 If Wishes Were Donkeys by NightOwl1 (M, 101k, WIP, WangXian, SVSSS, Time Travel Fix-It, Case Fic, Mpreg, Fluff and Humor, Dysfunctional Jiāng Family, Bad Parent YZY, WangXian Get a Happy Ending,   Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, It’s All The System’s Fault, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Warning: JGS, Good Uncle LQR, LWJ and WWX Are LSZ’s Parents, Inappropriate Humor, Family Feels) THE YZY comeuppance fic in my opinion

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 57k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

🧡 To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag (M, 78k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Major character injury, CQL verse, Happy Ending)

~*~

3. Hi do you know any fic about weiying transmigrating into a novel or game or such?

So Call Me a Pessimist, but I Don’t Believe in It by Anonymous (Not Rated, 133k, WIP, WangXian, Food Issues, Family Feels, WWX is a music teacher, WN and WWX are Best Friends from the future, They use memes to talk covertly, Transmigrator WWX, transmigration au, Slow Burn)

~*~

4. Hello! This is my second time asking im in the mood for fics for wangxian suicide squad au or joker au if there is any thank you!

~*~

5. hi!! itmf is there any wangxian fics that has catboy wy like feline misconduct by Papriqua and vicchan @yesibest

stray cat strut by ScarlettStorm (E, 54k, WangXian, No War AU, the world's least mysterious casefic, Comedy, Shenanigans, Slow Burn, a disgusting amount of magically necessary forehead smooches, switch rights)

~*~

6. Hi there. Can you please link me to any "*the most heavy angst* wangxian fic *with happy ending*" where wwx life is constantly in danger as he fought to leave / where wwx desperately tries to gain lwjs love risking everything.

Thankyou for all your hard work

Twin Demons of Mò by XiaoFeiFei (ArfBarkWoof) (M, 358k, MXY & WWX, wangxian, JL & MXY, XY & MXY, JGY & MXY, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Abuse, Death, Twin Demons of Mo AU, MXY Lives, Major Character Injury, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Minor Character Death, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Minor Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Torture, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Canon Divergence, Self-Harm, Found Family, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, POV Alternating) is /super/ heavy but ends very nicely

~*~

7. Hello! ITMF light hearted secret relationship fics? Either canon or modern, I am just in the mood for some fluff and comedy about WangXian trying to hide their obvious interest in each other from everyone else. Thank you!

🔒 A heated Livestream. by satans_dolly_boy666 (G, 1k, WangXian, WWX & OCs, JC & WWX, WWX & NHS, Modern, livestream, gamer, Established WangXian, Possessive LWJ, Supportive LXC, Jealous LWJ, Internally screaming WWX, Internet Famous, Sugar Daddy, OK no but still-, College/University, College Student WWX, LWJ is fucking rich, Gossip, Surprises, Surprise Kissing, Secret Relationship, Idiots in Love, Dorks in Love, Showing Off, LWJ is a little shit, Identity Reveal, Relationship Reveal, Gay Panic)

After the Final Rose by azurewaxwing (E, 55k, wangxian, modern, reality show au, secret relationship, fluff & angst, happy ending, bachelor LWJ, cameraman WWX, smut)

🔒To Make Him a Perfect Bride by Hinu (E, 139k, WangXian, Modern, Feminization, Crossdressing, Marriage Proposal, Romantic Comedy, Meet the Family, Homophobia, Cultural Differences, Discrimination, Wealth kink, Potentially Unhealthy Beauty Standards, Rich LWJ, Power Bottom WWX, Sugar Daddy LWJ, Plot With Porn, Mild Kink, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coming Out, Implied Canon-Typical Child Abuse, Phone Sex in Public, Sexual Harassment, competent wwx, Financial Domination, Sexual Roleplay, Light BDSM, WWX’s dog phobia, Submissive LWJ, Blood, Smoking, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, WWX’s dissociative panic attacks in later chapters, Gay LWJ, Protective LWJ, Weddings, Wedding Planning, Secret Relationship, Genderqueer WWX, BAMF NHS, Gay WWX, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, fem! WWX is A-Jingyi’s and A-Yuan’s sexual awakening, Office Sex, Airplane Sex, Happy Ending, Class Differences, Crazy Rich Asians Fusion)

~*~

8. ITMF Sunshot Campaign and Burial Mounds Settlement rewrites where WWX still has his golden core? Thank you!

💖🔒 love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, Canon Divergence WWX does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM and YZY) sort of works by featuring a Wei Ying who keep his core and who helps the Wen remnants, just not in the Burial Mounds.

Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (E, 231k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Mutual Pining, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, unreliable narrator, Found Family, First Time, novel canon relationship dynamics)

~*~

9. Hey! I was looking for some beefy/chubby wangxian fics. Honestly, I'd love to see either of them put on some weight or at least not be just dehydrated muscle-y ppl. Somewhat similar to "the sweetest kind of victory" by stiltonbasket or "as a treat." by Mikkeneko

leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic lwj, neurodivergent wwx, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you’ve met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation) WWX has suffered food insecurity in the past but now is healthily chubby which both he and LWJ appreciate

~*~

10. ITMF Wwx going with A-yuan for the celebration of 100 days of Jin Ling.

💖 A Crying Shame by thunderwear (G, 16k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, burial mounds settlement days, getting together, pining, domestic fluff, love confessions, first kiss, sharing a bed, marriage proposal)

~*~

11. To fic finder I request your humble aid I am trying to find podfics of Wei ying and the juniors adventures together and him being a great teacher and a junior being ducklings

🔒❤️ Joy In the Midst of These Things Series by Glitterbombshell (T/G, 53k, WangXian, Angst with Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Teacher WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff) Has 2 podfics available

❤️ The One-Body Problem by metisket (T, 29k, LJY & WWX, LJY & LSZ, wangxian, possession, cohabitation, The One-Body Problem by SeaNoodle, Problem jednego ciała (podfik) by tehanu, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by PolynomialPandemic, [PODFIC] The One-Body Problem by Gwogobo, [Podcast] Juniors just wanna have fun by jellyfishfire, kisahawklin) Seeing the reblog, it occurs to me that The One-Body Problem also sorta fits & has a couple of podfics Mainly WWX & LJY, & LSZ is also a significant character

[Podfic] Grow by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5H, wangxian, post-canon, de-aging, character study)

Wearing Down Every Bone [Podfic] by Rionaa (E, 2-2.5hrs, WangXian, Groundhog Day, Time Loop, Temporary Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Case Fic, Curses, Pining, Getting Together, Time Travel, Night Hunts, Hurt wwx, Mystery, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Depression and Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Podfic Chaptered, Podfic Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes) This the has a certain amount of juniors + wwx

Juniors' High Nighthunt by AirgiodSLV, irrationalpie, jennisaisquoi, minnapods (minnabird), PolynomialPandemic, semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona), takopods (takonomz) (G, 2k, 10-20mins, Junior Quartet-centric, Minor WangXian, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Comedy, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Podfic Collaboration, Humor, the juniors accidentally get high on a night hunt)

these two are very much "wwx and his relationships to various juniors" but not on adventures together, but hopefully will still work:

[Podfic] A Civil Combpaign by jellyfishfire (T, 2.5-3hrs, ZhuiLing, WangXian, Marriage Proposal, Teenage Drama, Family Bonding, and the Power of Combs as a courting gift, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours)

[podfic] best friends forever by jellyfishfire (T, 1-1.5 hrs, LingYi, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Juniors shenanigans, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours)

((not a podfic but) A Mother’s Love by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 170k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mostly combo of the Untamed and MoDaoZuShi timelines, Unreliable Narrator, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Family Feels, Found Family, PTSD, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Political Intrigue, Mystery, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strong Female Characters, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note, Good Brother In Law JZX, Genderbent WWX, Intersex WWX, not a/b/o, POV Original Character, Expanded Universe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bisexual WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Pining WangXian, Parent-Child Relationship, Getting Together, Protective Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, MXY Lives) wwx is a great teacher to junior ducklings, but it's oc Jiang juniors (tho the canon junior quartet make brief cameos as babies, cause it's a diverging au post sunshot )

[Podfic] 爱不释手; never let me go by argentumlupine (E, 6-7H, WangXian, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Case Fic, Blood and Injury, Demons, Body Horror, Mystery)

[Podfic of] To be of use by isweedan (Not Rated, 7-10H, LSZ & LWJ, Found Family, Accidental Baby Acquisition, (kinda), Father-Son Relationship, Missing Scene, Good Teacher LWJ, LSZ is an angel, LJY is the best of brats, Cloud Recesses, Seclusion Lite(TM), Everyone under 20 at Cloud Recesses worships Hanguang-jun, Fluff, Hanguang-jun is the coolest, Worldbuilding, this is not sad tho even though it's set in the time jump, the fluff-to-sads ratio is v high, Audio Format: MP3)

[Podfic] A Matter of Technicality by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona) (T, 2-2.5hrs, JL & JC & WWX, Post-Canon, JC & WWX Reconciliation, As Helped Along By The Junior Ensemble, Feat. Fairy As A Very Good Girl, Fluff and Humor, Family Feels, Some Minor Nefarious Plotting, It's For A Good Cause Though, The Technicalities Of Transmigration, Questionable Fantasy Inheritance Law, Podfic Length: 2-2.5 Hours, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Download)

~*~

12. Hey I was going thru all your wanxian recs and they are all so good and unique! I'm in the mood for a fic where Jiang Yangli and Lan wangji are betrothed, wwx just like canon becomes friends lwj and doesn't realise that he has fallen for him. He acts like he is very happy his 2 favorite people are getting married but also really sad about it not understanding why. I know its very specific but I'vent found anything even close to this concept on ao3. Hope you can help. Thank you💜 @auspiccake

Neatly Arranged by thunderwear (T, 45k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, lwj’s mother is here but only briefly, RIP, Shenanigans, Fix-Itof sorts, Canonical Character Death, but not all, did i forget to tag pining, because this fic is like 90 percent pining, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

13. Hi! Hope you have a wonderful day! For the next ITMF, can I have fics where the Lan Clan is soft/lenient/have favoritism towards Wei Ying? Kinda like Cluster of Clouds by Nika_Raven_Celeste? It doesn't have to be time-traveling, can be set during their CR or Post-Canon.

Bonus points if other people can literally see the difference of treatment between wei ying and them lol

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 828k, WangXian, WIP, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Getting Together, Supportive LQR, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Supportive LXC, Canon Divergence, Inventor WWX, Possessive LWJ, Cultivation Sect Politics, Pre-Sunshot Campaign, Fluff and Smut, Burning of the Cloud Recesses, Fall of Lotus Pier, Angst, Sunshot Campaign Not JFM Friendly, split into parts, Part 1 complete, Part 2 complete, Original Character(s)) The Lan clan loves talisman genius!WWX, & someone even notes that LQR is biased towards him

I Have Arranged to Tie You to Me by xxxMiaHikarixxx (G, 76k, WIP, WangXian, Lan protective team, Time Travel, Past, LWJ oriented, Arranged Marriage, Boys In Love, Soulmates, Fix-It, Jiang siblings, not jiang parents friendly, Soft LWJ, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX)

🔒The Second Hand Unwinds by trulywicked (E, 64k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, WIP, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang Sect Friendly, Not Jiāng Family Friendly, Not YZY Friendly, Time Travelling LWJ, Protective LWJ, Fluff, Minor Angst, Minor Character Death, JGS is his own warning, Wooing, LWJ is romantic af, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Protective Gusu Lan Sect, Supportive LXC, Good Uncle LQR, WWX Protection Squad)

Just Say Yes series by edenwolfie (M, 338k, wangxian, canon divergence, matchmaking, pining, cloud recesses study arc, getting together, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, everyone lives au)

in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad)

Dispersing Clouds by dreamingofcake (E, 283k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Not Jiang Family Friendly, Abusive YZY, Canonical Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Sex, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (Background Character), Background Character Deaths, child deaths, Canon JC, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Cultivation Sect Politics, Homophobia, Heteronormativity, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Oblivious)

~*~

14. 👋🏼 Hiii

Itmf

A) Fics where Wei Ying has real siblings , they can be blood related or adopted Excluding jiang cheng and Yanli or any of the characters from the Canon. What I am looking for is OCs . And no transmigration

B) Fics where Wei Ying is blood related to the Jiangs not as son or anything but as cousin or distant relative or so . [If u can find something where the jiangs knows of this and are thus treat him nicely then plz

We Meet at the Thousandth Step by Admiranda, Rynne (T, 316k, WangXian, CSSR/WCZ, Canon Divergence, No Sunshot Campaign, CSSR & WCZ Live, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Different First Meeting, Night Hunts, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Plot, Romance, Drama, Fluff, Strangers to married, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Everyone Lives, Developing Relationship, Minor Violence, Case Fic, Mystery, Flirting, WWX's Canon-Typical Flower Flirting, Arson, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, First Kiss, Meeting the Parents, Resolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Romantic Tension, WWX Is a Good Big Brother, New Relationship Bliss, Chinese Mythology & Folklore, Blood and Injury, Yiling siblings, Married WangXian, Honeymoon, Wangxian's Baby Fever) gives Wei Ying a sister who features heavily in later chapters

🔒Through the Storm by marhikit (T, 33k, WangXian, WX/OMC, Not JC Friendly, Canon Divergence, Not Madam Yu Friendly, Not Jiang Family Friendly, WWX gets big siblings that love and adore him, JZX ends up with someone different, No Golden Core Transfer, Creepy JGS, JZX & WWX Friendship, WWX in a different sect) gives Wei Ying an adopted brother and sister.

~*~

15. Hi! Im in the mood for a fic with animal transformation (for either Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji)like full on turn into an animal, any animal works- cat, bunny, fox etc. and the other having to take care of them until they find out how to turn the other back into a human

the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, modern cultivation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Getting Together, Confessions)

quarantine required by lazulisong (G, 1k, WangXian, cat fic, Animal Transformation)

Tales From Bunny Mountain by telarna (G, 5k, wangxian, JL/LSZ, JL&WWX, so many bunnies, lan buns, Tales From Bunny Mountain [Podfic] by esbielle)

🔒 and in the spring i shed my skin by wvlfqveen (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Professors, Shapeshifter LWJ, Not Quite Necromancer WWX, Mutual Pining, WWX being an oblivious idiot, Fluff, Love Confessions, yunmeng trio, Family Feels, get JC therapy 2020, Kissing)

🔒💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

in the arms of the angel by ScarlettStorm (E, 37k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Fox WWX, animal rescuer LWJ, Minor pining, major shenanigans, Comedy, Smut, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Adhd WWX, the mortifying ordeal of getting your head stuck in a peanut butter jar, and getting subsequently rescued by your crush, there were in fact two beds, but LWJ knows what he's about, Blowjobs, Frottage, switch rights, Scent Kink, mildly telepathic sex, courtship via kittens)

Playing Possum by DizziDreams (T, 1k, WangXian, Modern AU, Crack, animal shifter wwx, sometimes meeting the love of your life looks like a naked man playing dead in your laundry room) should work but the human caring for the animal doesn't realize the animal has shifted from human in these.

Kitty-cat by canis_lupus (E, 98k, WangXian, WIP, Cat WWX, Modern with Magic, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, dom LWJ, Sub WWX, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Jiang Family Dynamics, Abusive Jiang Family, POV Multiple, WWX Has ADHD, Autistic LWJ, Masturbation)

~*~

16. Hello, itmf works where:

A) No sunshot campaign.

B) -Wei Ying reaches immortality young

Or

-Wei Ying loses/fractures his core due to Zidian

In both cases he tries to hide it

Thank you !

A) A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 74k, wangxian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP) I apologize for not quite understanding what they're requesting but if they're looking for both no war AND Wei Ying becoming immortal at a young age, then I recommend A Life Without Regrets

B) 💖🔒love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, YLLZ WWX, Arranged Marriage, political scheming, Gratuitous Domesticity, Mutual Pining, EXTREME SLOWBURN, the inherent eroticism of the forehead ribbon, The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, neither wwx nor lwj want to be Perceived, but sorry kids! it’s gonna happen!, rated E but the the NSFW stuff doesn’t begin until chapter 19!, bottom LWJ in chapter 20 and 27) (link in #8) If they're looking for either A or B, I'd suggest love, in fire and blood for B. Sorry again for my confusion!

~*~

17. Itmf some pwp fem!wangxian

give me one good honest kiss by occultings (microcomets) (E, 25k, Female wangxian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homooticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

good friends by plonk (Not Rated, 11k, Female WangXian, WangXianJue, Modern AU, Gender Changes, A/B/O Dynamics)

Happy for Now by ScarlettStorm (E, 79k, Female WangXian, Rule 63, Femslash, Cisswap, Practice Kissing, Pining while fucking, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sleepovers, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Compulsory Heterosexuality, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Fingering, Strap-Ons, Semi-Public Sex, Lesbian Sex, lwj's canonical tantrum biting, the inherent homoeroticism of high school orchestra, the emotional catharsis of lesbians beating the shit out of straight men, College/University)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[project-sekai-facts]

I've seen many people stating that Airi is implied as transfem, and many saying it's merely a headcanon, but I haven't been able to find evidence to support either side as I have no idea of where that notion comes from. Do you know about any event/card stories or symbolism that could imply that she's transgender? Thanks in advance.

oooh this is a really interesting one for me actually! so straight off the bat, no airi is not canonically or implied trans. that said, a queer (in her case, trans specifically) reading of her story is totally valid, much like Toya's backstory for an in-game example, and for out of game examples stuff like Rin in Love Live! School Idol Project or Gwen in the Spider-Verse movies (these two support a trans reading, whilst Toya's story supports a more general queer reading).

I think the main cause of the reading comes from her fes story! While her childhood is first talked about in the first chapter of RE:START From Here!, it's very brief and the specific parts about her personality and presentation aren't much of the focus, aside from an incredibly short interaction between Airi and her mother where Airi thinks the idol on TV is cute and her mother tells her that there's nothing stopping her from being like that, then a similar interaction with her younger sister where she decides that she wants to be an idol.

What we learn from this is that Airi used to be a tomboy when she was younger, and was short tempered and aggressive, and often got into fights with boys (though in the interaction we are shown she does this to defend her little sister). She also discovered idols and decided she wanted to be one too, just as cute as the one on TV, which is the total opposite to how she was then. In terms of Airi's backstory serving as a trans allegory? I think you could get something out of this, though the allegory (intentional or not) is far more pronounced in her fes story. You could definitely view this flashback as her starting to realise she's a trans girl, and that she wants to be more girly. Especially when her sister says that Airi's just like the idol on TV, and she has a moment of realisation that she wants to be one too.

Now onto her fes story. First I'll just mention a little fandom thing. So back in 2021 when Airi's fes card was initially released, a fan translation (pictured) was posted to youtube that mistranslated her as being transgender. It was a error made by the translator where instead of saying how the boys she fought with called her a "too cute for a monster", she said they called her a "too cute for a boy". The translation was deleted a long time ago, but for some reason people still bring it up, even now. I think this is where a lot of misinterpretation over her being canonically trans comes from.

Now onto the actual fes story. In the first part of the story, Airi looks back on the interactions with her sister that we saw in Re:start, thinks that she'd love to see the look on her younger self's face if she could see herself now, which creates her fragment sekai. In the second part, after talking with her younger self for a bit, she calls little Airi a tomboy, and she's visibly uncomfortable with this. Present-day Airi then realises this past version of her must be from around the time she started to be bothered by how people viewed her as "rambunctious" or a tomboy. She also mentions that when she decided to become an idol she started ignoring boys teasing her about it, confirming that her tomboy personality and presentation was a source of mockery.

The most interesting part is that Airi says when she started wearing cute and girly clothing to school, she was mocked for it. Although the text explicitly states that for Airi, she was a GNC girl who was uncomfortable with her presentation and wanted to be more girly, this is literally something that has happened with Mizuki, who is all-but-stated canonically transfem. The rest of the story is Airi explaining what being an idol is like and her experiences to her younger self, who then proudly proclaims that she's going to become an idol.

As I said, the text explicitly states that she's a tomboyish girl before she decided she wanted to become an idol and wear cute clothes, which strongly suggests that she's cisgender (of course, she could be a GNC trans girl who came out when she was very young, but this is not canon). However, the fes story overall, and particularly the 3 lines of dialogue pictured above, strongly support a trans reading.

Airi was teased for wearing cute clothes, and while the text doesn't state it outright, you shouldn't have to be told that these were typically girly or feminine clothes, especially given the tshirt and dungarees that Airi wears on her child L2D model. As stated earlier, this exact same thing has happened with Mizuki, although the reactions from classmates and the girls themselves were slightly different on the account of Mizuki being canonically transgender. Airi is annoyed that her classmates think the cute clothes clash with her personality and make fun of her for it, but in Mizuki's case she questions if it's okay for her to wear such clothes because people think it's weird for her to be wearing it (the reason for it being weird is left unstated, but it's presumably because her classmates knew her as a boy at this point in time). Nonetheless, this mirrors the experiences of so many trans people in real life, who are mocked by the general public due to not fitting into the box of gender norms dictated by society.

Airi affirming that she's a girl is definitely the standout line here, though. It shows us how insecure little Airi was with her presentation, and how she wanted people to think of her as a proper, cute girl, instead of a "monster". So while Airi is not canonically trans, the text strongly supports her being read as such. It doesn't take a genius to work out how you could apply Airi growing up as a more masculine tomboy, then realising she wants to be a cute idol, then being teased for dressing in a traditionally feminine way is an allegory for a trans experience, intended or not.

Also absolutely not solid evidence of anything at all, but I often see people point out that Airi's trained The Strongest Idol Smile! 4* has a trans flag color palette, something we've seen in Mizuki cards before. However this is very likely unintentional and just done for artistic effect, the pink ribbons on the card are actually red on the costume (and you can tell in some parts of this artwork too). Still think it's a neat end to this post though.

[mothwingwritings]

Idk if you’re into omega verse but omg I just thought of it being applied to Yujiro and poor omega reader goddamn 😭 (I think I may have gone a little bit too far on this one ngl, also I’m half asleep so sorry for any issues..)

Nasty nasty Alpha Yujiro who takes advantage of poor little you. Who would have thought he’d ever encounter such a rare beauty? Omegas were practically extinct in the baki universe, the world full of hardened alphas made no room for the sweet soft omegas. And yet here you were against all odds.

From the moment he met you, he’d made the promise that he would never spread his seed through out the world.

Nay, he was going to hammer in his children into your fertile womb as you cried out in overstimulation. You would carry all of his offspring for the rest of your life. That was a promise.

While many of his past devoted lovers would have been flattered by his devotion, you were anything but.

Sure Yujiro would disappear on some days but no longer than a week.

But on the days he were in your house. It’d be a constant running away and fighting off the lustful touches of Yujiro.

The dreadful “Honey~ I’m home!~” had you cringing so hard as thick muscular arms surrounded your waist.

Having to take showers with the Ogre that always ended with you pressed up against the glass mirror as Yujiro crowded you against it.

Having your favorite clothes torn to shreds as he tried to make “love to you”.

Waking up in the middle of the night to see the humongous man deep in your guts as he ruthlessly pounded into you.

And when you went in heat…oh boy.

You’re horny 24/7 and you won’t fight back at all? Just lil ol you whimpering about how much it hurts and that you need something inside? You’d let the older man kiss you and cling onto him needily. His poor little omega!

Yeah, Yujiro loves your heats.

This man keeps a track record of when your heats are around the corner. It doesn’t matter if he’s in another country or across the globe the globe away from you. If he sees you have started your heat, he’s running like a madman with the nastiest smirk that has people running away screaming. They all thought he was out to murder someone (ya ur lil meow meow)

Out of spite you decide to hook up with some random beta when your heat starts up. Which immediately back fires when Yujiro has said man tied up as he watches you get plowed down by your real alpha.

“My little omega, have I neglected you so much that you seeked out some limp dick beta to satisfy you? I guess I’ll have to you more attention to keep you satisfied, huh?”

You know Yujiro is going to show you off. I mean, who wouldn’t?

He’s pulling up to the tournaments with you sitting on his shoulder clad in a thin bikini. Your looking away from the many lustful looks directed at you, all while Yujiro basks in the jealous looks he receives.

They all look so angry at him, but yet…too intimidated to muster the courage to say anything to him. Yes this was a fine idea.

He’s got you wearing a pretty diamond collar with the letters “Property of Ogre.”

Every time you both return from such fights, it didn’t matter if he came back angry or happy both were valid reasons to fuck you in the entrance your home. After that he would ravage you on any surface in the house.

He was going to get so many babies out of you.

Me reading this ask loool

You must have read my mind anon, I was just musing the other day on how I want to some day take a stab at writing an ABO fic and the Bakiverse would be perfect fodder for it. 😌

But God... Yujiro would be the worst fucking Alpha. That man could track you down from miles away, knowing where you are at all times should he need you. And he has such intricate knowledge on basically every aspect of you and your life that it goes beyond concerning, it's downright invasive. It takes no time at all for him to claim fuck you, giving you no time to really sus him out or get to know him before you've become irrevocably his. He's now your bonded partner, and you are not at all thrilled with that.

When yujiro comes to claim you he attacks you with such a bestial, feral intensity that you are afraid one day your body won't be able to take the abuse he inflicts on it, giving you serious concerns over whether you will survive the mating process. You got lucky the first time, but what about in the future? How many pups does he plan to pump inside of you? The thought keeps you up at night. You don't even want to parent his offspring, let alone be demoted to his breeding stock to be fucked full again and again and again. You would have chosen ANY alpha other than Yujiro, but now this was your lot in life-forced to not only be his mate, but bear his children, creating new versions of this monster to roam the planet. Would they grow up to be like their father, or would you have any hope of raising them to be decent, loving people?

Also, I feel like your body will just constantly be marked up everywhere. His mating bites don't stop at the scent glands, and you usually end up looking like you just left a 12 round boxing match on the losing side instead of a mating session with your alpha. :(

And when you are in heat its the absolute fucking worst. Lusting after Yurjiro, your entire body aching for him to desecrate and destroy you, your insides burning white hot for his touch. Only your alpha can cure you of this all consuming sickness that plagues you, and you turn into a whiny blubbery mess when Yujiro is around, pleading and begging for him to claim you. It's absolutely dreadful how much you yearn for such a barbaric man, and each and every time you are disgusted with how easily you give in to him. You just roll over and become his docile little fuck mate, turned into a wanton, lusting mess from just catching his scent alone. You loath him as much as you need him, and words cannot describe the amount of hate you hold in your heart for the man that turned you into this pathetic shell of who you once were.

[p-paradoxa]

having read it I feel like Julia Serano’s “Frustration” series of posts criticizing the participation of transmascs at Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival should be required reading for fellow transmascs on here. (TW for transmisogynist comments, sexism, brief mention of misgendering and sexual harassment of a trans girl.) It starts as an open letter to the FTM community, asking it to reexamine its place at a queer women-centered event that notoriously prevented trans women from entering— Michfest, aka one of the largest hubs for the riot grrrl and queer feminist punk scenes for decades.

really urging guys to read and understand this course of events, and what Serano said about it as a trans woman who was part of the movement protesting it. because of how often I see transmascs in particular talk around, try to appropriate, or directly deny transmisogyny. issuing blanket statements about “trans inclusion” which fail to include transfems. or failing to piece together what intersectionality means in this context. or trying to have our cake and eat it too by safely moving around women’s spaces that trans women aren’t welcome in, sometimes in an act of trying to distance ourselves from our own maleness. all this cover, while wanting to be poor smol bean softboys that can renounce gendered privilege.

take this passage where Serano responds to claims of “inclusivity” by Michfest participants (the two mentioned are transmasculine musicians):

I really recommend reading the whole thing though. It’s not some comprehensive theory work and to be clear I’m not well-versed in Serano’s work, I just happened to find her blog because I was looking for this exact topic. and this is crucially not debating the validity of X lesbian identity or Y trans label or anything else. the point is that this is an illustrative example of transfem exclusion. that transmasc/FTM overrepresentation is not value neutral. and this is relevant here amidst sitewide repression of transfems disproportionate to the overrepresented TME userbase.

please read about the experiences of a trans woman protesting a transfem-exclusionary event 18 years ago before you decry criticism of trans men and TMEs as “just infighting.” we were at Michfest aka a TERF aka a radfem event. we were welcomed at Michfest even when it was known we were men. we claimed to speak for trans inclusivity at Michfest. we perpetuated harm against transfems at Michfest. we spoke over transfems that protested for years against Michfest.

And like as a transmasc and genderqueer person myself I’m really ticked off at guys that seem willing to tear down any veneer of “trans unity” themselves by making scapegoats out of outspoken transfems, pretending misandry is a real material thing, and repackaging MRA and incel rhetoric. like Serano gestures at, explain how that is different from any other patriarchal behavior. that is how we believe ourselves to be sufficient representatives of the trans community— and how we can perpetuate trans(fem)-exclusionary feminism.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

All the fling posse song snippets are out !!!

👀 The Fling Posse snippets are all out now!! :D Ramuda sounds so happy I cry TwT

Hey! Any thoughts on the Fling Posse solo previews? Love hearing your opinions on the trailers and getting some neat tidbits of insight into the lyrics/motifs.

Thanks for the messages! Let's go check 'em out.

One and Only

(8 seconds in) Ramuda's saying "Let's go" too

(41 seconds in) Ahh!

(48 seconds in) Jesus, Shirai is really pushing his range in this one

(50 seconds in) Self love for Ramuda, hell yeah. Good on him

(End of video) Not a lot to say; I feel like this one was pretty straight-forward. It's Ramuda embracing his personal identity as a unique human being-- LOVE to see it-- which is the culmination of his arc through the series so far. The music itself didn't capture me. I might warm up to it later like I usually do, but Shirai's singing on its own isn't usually my cup of tea. Which is chill; I hope other people like it. The wordplay on "clap your hands (te wo tataite); I want to celebrate [being alive] (tataeteitai)" was neat.

Lies

(Title note) I'm intrigued that the title is in kana instead of kanji, giving it a simple and almost "honest" feel in its simplicity. It's been a hot sec since I've seen Gentarou use that word in writing but iirc he usually uses kanji for it.

(5 seconds in) Loving this piano.

(15 seconds in) A boku-using Gentarou? Bruh.

(35 seconds in) Ohhh I see the point of the kana. The title is the same as a famous Shuntarou Tanikawa poem narrated by a little boy (hence the lack of kanji). Since the song lyrics reference it, here's a quick 'n dirty TL of the poem: Lies I think I'll always tell lies. My mother doesn't, but she's done so before. I think that because I know lying is painful. Even if the things I say are lies, the lying feeling is the truth. There are some truths that can only be told in lies. Even dogs--if they could talk, I think they'd tell lies as well. Even when I tell lies, even when my lies get caught, I don't apologize. I never tell lies just to get out of trouble. (*) Even if no one knows that, I know that, and so here I am, living with my lies. Until I just can't bear to lie any longer, I know I'll lie again and again and all the while long for the truth. (*) Literally, "resolve [the trouble] with apologies" which is why the narrator says he doesn't apologize Anyway, the "Even when I tell lies..." verse sans "and so..." is the opening of this song. Gentarou stops at "Even if no one knows that" and sighs in his second repetition of the verse.

(end of song) Wait, the whole thing is just verses of this poem? This is really cool and artistic (I dig it) but wow, what a choice! Saitou Souma's performance is incredible, and the background music is cool. I don't know how well this would go on a playlist, but I am here for it! ...I'm also wondering what the rights acquisition must have been like. This poem isn't in the JPN public domain yet, right? Hahaha.

God in the Dice

(title note) Fwiw I usually say Dice has "spirits" in his dice; calling them gods is just as valid. That seems to be what this is referring to.

(15 seconds in) Man I love Nozuyama's rapping chops. He delivers every time

(23 seconds in) Going to take this "I don't care" and make it a reaction image. Can't adequately express how much the phrase "Thog don't care" gets me through the day; this is right up there with that

(29 seconds in) It's very, very funny that Gentarou always teases Dice about his lack of vocab when you compare these two songs back to back. Hahaha.

(50 seconds in) Call back to Scramble Gamble with a more positive outlook. I can fuck with that.

(end of song) This one seems very similar to Ramuda's in terms of message (once again, I'm inappropriately amused at the notion of Ramuda and Dice living it up in the booth like "Love yourself...! Respect yourself! Love yourse--" and then it cuts to Gentarou who's got a piano and a Dramatic Poetry Reading and Angst. Well, that's Gentarou's way of loving himself, I suppose) and on the one hand, I am very happy for Dice deciding to live his life his own way, even if it goes against societal values... but I don't know how I feel about indulging in a gambling addiction as a way to explore that. You know? Maybe I'm just going "You don't have to follow societal expectations, but you should follow MY expectations, dammit!" Hahaha. Well....... Do what you gotta do, homie.... I'm reminded of how very 20 Dice is. Very, very 20 y.o. leaving a bad home life. Do what you gotta do....

Well, that's Fling Posse! Very much their usual Fling Posse selves.

[buggyswritingcorner]

OMG just found you through your NSFW-alphabet for Aemond, could you please please do one for his brother as well?

heyy... heyyy.. uh i know this is.. two years.. late, im sorryyyy, i had sooo much stuff happen to me tho and i feel like now im finally ready to start writing again! thank you for this request! check out my

MASTERLIST

NSFW Aegon Targaryen

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Yees girl go give us ⋆✩nothing⋆✩, hahahah no it really depends on what your relationship with him is, i can't see him being overly loving and patient with someone who's a fleeting moment in his life, if he is in love with you tho (whether or not he realises it) he will do his utmost best to shower you with love, even after a hate fuck this puppy couldn't possibly with good consience let you go without a bit of love

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he's quite insecure (shocking) so at first he had basically nothing, no part of him was entirely without flaw and he hated it, being with you and seeing how you look at him changed his mind and now he finds his shoulders and torso quite attractive (especially with your feet over his shoulders)

what he likes most on you differs every day, one day it's your eyes, the next your ass, he loves and longs for all of you

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

this dirty bitch, anywhere... anywhere

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he definitely caught alicent and crispin doing it at least once.. did he enjoy it? debatable

he has many secrets, most of them dirty.. so yeah, he's probably even seen you naked many times before you courted officially, he has his ways..

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he's always been very well versed in the art of sex, he fears nothing and is up to experiencing everything, so good luck with suprinsing him with something new.. if you do though, well just be prepared to not leave your room for some time, he loves new experiences

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

you on top, no arguments, on part because he's a little lazy, but also because he can see all of you that way, every curve, every sweet drip he'd like to lick up

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he's a gooof, a silly boyy, cannot stay serious for the life of him bless this poor man he tried once and you laughed at him because he looked constipated, if you really want him serious tho.. that takes a lot of teasing the entire day, then at night he takes what he was promised in those foxy smirks flashed his wayy all day

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

no grooming, unless you ask for it, like really plead for it, i think he just also forgets and obviously on you he doesn't mind any hair, on the contrary i think it makes him more turned on because it feels 'animalistic' and raw

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he can be romantic, he definitely uses his puppy eyes to his advantage and makes you take care of him haha

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he knows he looks good and won't hesitate to show you too, so you walking into your shared chambers while he's lost in himself is quite common, and then he just flashes you a coy smirk and get louder the longer you ignore him

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

i fear... i may have to say this man has a mommy kink, or just a woman kink in general lol, he definitely searches for validation where he didn't recieve it, so you being able to praise him and make him feel loved is a biig YES

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Unlike his clean brother, this man is dirty as fuck and is down to do it just about anywhere. Is a never ending list really. He looks forward to taking you into the darkest alleyways of King´s Landing or underneath the stone table in the Sept of Baelor.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

once again, just you, there is nothing more ravishing than you in a pretty dress or tunic and a pair of pants, the lower the cut of the hem the better, he loves when you swoosh your hair around him, likes the wilder side of you more than the proper side

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

... i really tried to come up with something but i dunno, i feel like hes down for anything??

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

a master in giving, terrible at recieving, he wriggles and whines and tugs on your hair, wear a whole set of armor if you dont want scratch marks everywhere!! also be carefull this one bites

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he's sloppy mostly, but at times when he sobers up in a moment of clarity he can rock your fuckin world, you'll be climbing the walls im tellin you

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

yes,yes,yes - aegon on quickies, he loves it, anywhere anytime, he'll srsly take you in an alleyway if you let him, so be carefull

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

once again i feel like he'd risk anything for that rush of adrenaline that he just longs for, he feels so bored and dead all the time that he wants to experience it all with you

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

if he's drinking? barely one, may even fall asleep on you. if he's sober? get ready for a ride till the sunrise, he takes his time and just kissing him may feel like only minutes passed when in reality you've been there for hours

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i mean, you saw the damn dildo, thats all imma say, he a freak

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

oh he's such a little tease, but not in the way most would expect, he's not a very dominant boy, so he'll more likely tease you to make you jealous or to make you look at his neck and chest when his tunic get mysteriously untied in the wind

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

looud, get your chambers soundproofed please, for the sake of the children, he's grunting, moaning, whining, cursing and all in between, the more orgasms you give him the higher his voice goes in octaves, its a fun game to see how high the bird will sing

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

i think he likes getting spanked, something makes me believe he'd be begging for that sharp sting, be it his face, cock or ass, he'll take anything you'll give

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

average sized, pretty boy cock what can i say, curved with a very pink flush

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

he's a whore, but a whore with feelings, he's down to do it most of the time but sometimes you'll have to console the poor boy because he feels like he's too demanding, just make sure you kiss him and he's forgetting all about those pesky insecurities

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

after you're done, he's not even letting you get up to use the restroom, he grabs you and just won't let go until he's sound asleep, you make him feel safe and loved

Hope you enjoyed!!

masterlist

[cardudescrown]

Reasons why Taryn is such a well written Anti-Hero:

SHE'S A TEENAGER. Taryn is at that "Prologue age" of 16-24 that literally means she doesn't know how to be specific in what she wants. She has hormones, She's not well versed in socializing, and has tons of insecurities that any teenager has. Nobody is really happy at the age of 16-24, and she probably hesitated on most of her decisions.

She is idealistic. That's why she felt guilty after she chose locke, because haha, the handsome guy isn't actually gonna solve all of your problems. At that age, who isn't delusional about their first real relationship??? She can't see the red flags because it never slapped her in the face. And jude was also Idealistic. Taryn chose the Class Clown, but Jude also chose the Hypocrite Prince. Glad both of them are dead.

Taryn is used to praise. She was the Extroverted sister. She wasn't that criticised or judged because she fit in. So when she makes a horrible mistake, she spiraled. Taryn betrayed her sister, and Jude helped her still. Madoc accepted Taryn because she was obedient to him. Oriana praised her more, so she felt more important than Jude. All of this further validated the fact that she doesn't really know the gravity of her choices, which she isn't emotionally equipped to shoulder. Everybody babied her decisions and forgave her. I mean, who ignores their twin sister after dating the guy she's been hanging out with??? Jude was so ready to forgive as long she apologized first?? Taryn is still immature.

In contrast to all of this, Jude embodies the characteristics of a Hero. She is NOT a hero because she is power hungry, ruthless, and vicious. BUT she chooses the much more beneficial options, disciplines herself to train, and relies on the strengths of others for help. She is Humble, she doesn't break easily, and she most definitely do not want validation from those people who look down on her. She's a really well-written morally grey villain that has the best heroic Characteristics.

[jonathan-cranes-mistress-of-fear]

Why do we gatekeep comics?

Seriously. I've been in this fandom (well, the batman rogues side of it) for years, since '15 actually. It's crazy how often I run across a post that basically says "fandom has bad reading comprehension and valid interpretations of these characters come from me"

Do ya'll realize how snobby that sounds?

Let me tell ya, comics are NOT an easy medium to get into. I'm going to be using Jonathan Crane as my example, because that's my blog's whole thing. Speaking him alone, there's at least eight origins, dozens of verses, multiple versions and stories -- and yes, some do contradict each other. And that's a medium popularity rogue, what if we're talking Jason Todd or Joker? Even Bruce Wayne's set in stone origin can vary from comic to comic.

While I understand comics need to be read to understand a character to it's fullest, and in no way am I arguing that you SHOULDN'T read comics. What I am saying is, there's more than just the fandom popular ones, and comics are not a cheap medium to get into. (and yes, you can 'yo ho ho' comics if you catch my drift, but finding the obscure issues can someone be impossible even taking that route) Comics costs add up quickly if you want to collect, ranging from two to six dollars an issue and god forbid you wanna collect something out of print that never had a big release to begin with. eBay prices can get crazy, and not everyone lives near a comic book store.

I get asks all the time asking me where to start with Jonathan Crane and reading, but really....does it matter? Pick an origin, pick a handful of stories that may interest you and with maaaybe six to ten comics you'll have a solid understanding of the character. This works for any character btw, you don't have nor should you have to read everything or whatever the fandom considers "the most correct"

ALSO! There's more than just comics, maybe you watched the animated series as a kid and that's all you know! That doesn't mean your thoughts are lesser than someone whose read hundreds of comics!! You're allowed to stick with the meidum you like best, like the Arkhamverse video games or Teen Titans cartoon.

Why do we even push the idea that you gotta research comics for years before you can have an "acceptable opinion" on these characters? Comics are a special medium, they can tell multiple stories from multiple artists and writers. No one comic is above the rest, no matter what the fandom tries to tell you

Just. Have fun with it. Make your headcanons. Read the story everyone hates. Take the horrible canon (Jervis Tetch being a predator, for example) and throw it out the window!!

Do what makes YOU happy. I promise, you're never going to be alone in a fandom like the comics fandom. You're allowed to do what you want, I mean--half the time the professionals wing it and bullshit it, so why can't you???

Anyway, I'm getting off my soapbox for today.

[copperbadge]

Oh geez, is that where the “I have harnessed the secret powers of my ADHD” stuff is coming from? I mean, good work, but maybe don’t put that on your resume.

What, the "how your ADHD is a superpower" thing? I'm not really immersed enough in that niche to know, but it's certainly possible. YouTube I think is a more vocal place when it comes to clickbait about how your neurodivergence is really a neuroadvantage.

It's not objectively bad. I think there is space to both acknowledge that life with neurodivergence can suck, but also that there's nothing wrong with being a different kind of thinker. The problem is with the way our culture treats that difference. Like yeah I wish my brain was different, and even if our culture was different I'd still probably do that, but being old enough to see the ways in which I'm advantaged by it is very validating, and makes up for it.

Despite being terrible with details in my own work, I often catch stuff my neurotypical colleagues miss, both in the work we do and just like, out in the world. Last time we were traveling, one of them said, "Man, I wish there was a bakery around here," and I said "Oh, we passed one two blocks back -- well, not really a bakery, they do mini cheesecakes." Once we backtracked, it was evident that we'd all walked past it but I was the only one who clocked it, because it was tiny and didn't have much signage. My coworker asked me, "How did you even notice this was here?" and I said, "That's the ADHD!" with amusement.

Mind you, I was with two colleagues I trust, one of whom has a kid with developmental struggles, so I was okay talking about it. It shouldn't be something that you have to hide, but yeah it's not something to put on your resume, or in your cover letter. It will make you less employable, which sucks, but also unless you're asking for accommodation that's not something your employer needs to know. I won't advise on when to notify an employer that you'll need accommodation, because I'm not well-versed in disability law, but I've seen it go very badly even with people who have been with an employer for years. And during an interview, anything that's not directly about the job (faith, partner, kids, disability, allergies, etc) should be kept to the absolute minimum, if only because some people in hiring really get put off by any mention of it in a discussion of job skills.

And I think truly the issue is that there was probably a brief moment of about three weeks where "your disability is a superpower" was actually a meaningful, validating statement, and then the Employment Industrial Complex got hold of it and realized that they could shift the messaging to validate anything that contributed to the capitalist work ethic and ignore or dismiss anything that didn't. It's shocking how fast "hey, ADHD has some upsides" became "if you can stop fidgeting your hyperfocus will make us millions."

[cocktailjjrs]

So......

Since I've been suffering with these angsty thoughts... i though i would invite you all suffer with me...

It's about Chuuya...

I was doing some research for my fic (mainly going through bsd novels, blogs, tags and all) and came across this one Insta post in passing (sorry, i don't remember the name).

It was about BSD's cycles.

First, cycle of abuse, going from Mori-Dazai-Aku-Kyouka

and Second of rescue, going from Natsume-Oda-Dazai-Atsushi-Kyouka.

And then they highlighted a third category, the one's who are not saved - including Chuuya, Aku and Q.

At that point i didn't think much about it, just another post while scrolling Insta.

But now it's keeps bothering me, a constant reminder, whenever i read something BSD.

And It's so heart wrenching.

It also hit me, Q and Aku can still be saved.

Q, while we don't exactly know where they are right now, there is a chance of them getting their own arc, backstory and then being saved.

Aku, while still in Mafia, his partnership with Atsushi is his saving grace already. He is making an effort to not kill, just for their deal/bet. By the end of it all, he will be in a better place than he is now.

But Chuuya. (Spoiler's for light novel's if you haven't read them)

I remember very clearly, when in Stormbringer (don't ask me why i remember this byheart), when Murase dies Chuuya says, "Hey Detective, Weren’t you gonna arrest me?! Weren’t you gonna bring me into the world of light"

Don't get me wrong, I still believe Chuuya belongs to Port Mafia, the darkness suits him better than light.

But that does not mean he never wanted to get out of that darkness. This one instance in SB was proof enough. Makes me wonder, if things had gone even slightly differently, would he be in a better place than he is now? Is there still a chance?

What's even more tragic is that after the whole SB thing, no one seemed stick around enough to help him fight his own demons.

And he definitely has MASSIVE DEMONS.

His whole life seems to be one catastrophe after another! Don't believe me?

His first group, whom he called friends, betrayed him. Classic stabbed by poisonous knife in the back.

Hardly a year later, his second friends group, Flags, was killed by an emotionally unstable man-child seeking validation, insisting on calling him brother.

He went through a horrid ordeal, having to learn he was a lab experiment, seeing your clone vaporise to nothing but bones in your own arms, having to fight those same bones. And as if this was not enough, then fighting the monstrosity of a singularity and in process loosing the only chance to determine your humanity. (Actually whole of SB is dreadful, i don't think it'll ever get worse than that - i really hope it doesn't)

Then, given by the timeline, another year later, his third group of friends was killed by Shibusawa.

And again a year later - his partner, who brought him in all this madness, just fucking leaves without a word. This is the least tragic thing that has happened to the boy, i swear.

And I'm sure it didn't end there.

There must have been so many things going on behind the scenes in those missing years, hell even after the series began, Chuuya has been out of scene because something or the other was going on.

Now you have Fyodor fucking shit up for no apparent reason. With this shitshow, many mafia men, some of whom Chuuya might have developed a relation, are definitely dead. Not to mention the mental gymnastics going to trying to at least be on the same fucking chapter as the two geniuses.

AND ALL OF THIS IS JUST IN THE CURRENT TIMELINE. Don't get me started on BEAST VERSE!!! (That's a can of worms I'm really not ready to open at this point)

The thing with Mentally strong individuals is, they have abnormally high emotional intelligence, they are unnaturally resilient, they can compartmentalize their grief, they empathise with great deal of people, think rationally at any given point and think of ways to make things better.

What many people fail to understand is that no one is born Mentally strong, it's the circumstances that make them as such.

It can happen even through small things.

No one being there for you to express your deepest fears. No one just listening to you, even if they have a solution to your problem. Or having seen other's nightmares come to reality and feeling your own are much smaller, or having made to fell that way.

It creates the mentality of never sharing your fears, your insecurities, your discomfort - because at the back of the mind you keep telling yourself - oh, this person has gone through so much more than i have, my fear is nothing compared to it. I can handle it on my own, they have their own problems to handle. Everyone is busy, i don't think they have time to listen to the same problem I've been facing for years now. I've manages so far, i think I can manager just fine.

You start to undervalue your own feelings and start to fell like you'll burden them. Start to feel like you NEED to handle it on your own.

Now, i don't want to go into a spiral of mental health, but when you look at Chuuya, you can't help but marvel at that kids Mental resolution.

His first action after being stabbed in back was to make a deal with a demon to make sure he doesn't harm them, because they are just kids.

His first reaction to being provoked into revenge was to say Fuck off to his manipulator, not falling for the temptation and doing what he felt right.

He even forgave the killer of his friends (And also the one who tried to kill him) for gods sake! Understanding what he was going through.

He even walked away after knowing his parents are alive (oh the irony) not wanting to put a target on them. (I'm actually on fence with this, the chances of it being a manipulation tactic from Mori is just as high as it being the truth)

He had tremendous mental fortitude.

But you still see the cracks in his emotional state,

He was desperate to know if he was human or not, inclining towards the later.

He didn't know, that your friends can do some nice things without expecting anything in return. They can go above and beyond your regular stuff just because they are your friends, there doesn't need to be of anything at stake in friendship.

Hell, there was a point he believed having a Heart was too sophisticated for him, that he can't be that human!

I can go hours and hours about this.

What i can say for sure is, he has demons in all sizes, shapes and forms, something that he has stuffed in his closet only to deal with them himself, not letting them see the light of the day.

i just don't see anyone actually being there for him long enough for him to trust them fully with his demons.

No, not even Dazai. Dazai himself was a walking cry for help, like hell Chuuya is adding to that pile. He may have found a constant in Dazai in three years, seeing as all other's met their end in one. I believe in those three years, somewhere Soukoku began to feel like his safe place, somewhere he didn't had to think about his demons only by the virtue of dealing with one made of flesh and bones. But then even Dazai left.

I don't think even Kouyou was there for most part. And considering her obsession with a flowers of dark with Kyouka, i think it pulled Chuuya more in her own tragedy. Afterall, she also was never saved.

Mori is there, but Mori is a Demon in his own rights. What we've seen is their interactions have been those of a boss and his close confidents, nothing personal or emotional. Which also makes sense when you think of Mori's theory of running an organization. Chuuya, all things considered, the most powerful member of PM and he is treated as such.

The other significant members of PM, the guerrilla squad, black lizards or Kajji - all of them may know him better than most, but he is still their executive. If a 15 and younger kid took the title of being a protector of his rag-tag group seriously, being a responsible and dependable executive comes with higher stakes. He will carry out his role as one, even if it's the last thing he does.

.

.

.

That was me rambling.

My point is, i wanna give Chuuya a big hug, tell him it's okay to fell tried sometimes. To let himself be vulnerable. That his fears are not invalid. That he is not invalid. That he isn't the problem, never was.

That he will still be valued and wanted, even if he one day looses his ability or he is no longer the strongest.

Can someone please save his boy?

[satoruuswife]

Since the jjk manga ended and my sweetheart is officially dead, here is a letter i would've written to him if i was his canon lover in jujutsu kaisen.

(basically a huge rant)

What is the point of living if not for him, my reason for being if he isn't there,

Life is but just a huge flake of despair

oh who to share my moments of love and anguish with if he isn't there, the bearer of limitless and the sole holder of the key to my heart,

For who will ease the pain in my heart if not for him?,

Who will quench the thirst of want, that is for him?,

for he may be the honored one to all but to me is the garden of love that i have garnered, for he is the sole reason i choose to wake up everyday, for he is not the strongest but is just satoru,

Satoru gojo, the beautiful man who deserved to live the best life out of anyone to ever have stepped foot in the jjk verse.

The sole heir to the gojo clan and the bearer of the six eyes and limitless.

The man who had the power to eradicate everyone and live selfishly but chose to educate the youth and strive for a better future instead.

The love of my life who could do no wrong,

For he is the one who has many flaws, he does really, but its his flaws that make me love him

It's like shakespeare said, when in love, you love the person for their flaws not because they don't have them (this isn't the exact quote, it's the meaning).

For what is the meaning of life, if i dont get to see his smile to brighten my day

Reign my dreams, who will if not he

Hold my hand, who will if its not him

For who will lead me through my own despair if not him,

He isn't the strongest because of his powers, no, he is the strongest for bearing the despair and anguish that the reality of the world has.

The pressure to protect everyone for he was born for it.

To play the hero he is meant to be, not by choice but by birth.

Oh how i wish, i could hold his hand once more and tell him he did well, to guide him through his own despair, to comfort him, to console him, to tell him that his efforts were not in vain.

Were his efforts not in vain, if my love couldn't even get a funeral at the end? Not even an ounce of acknowledgement? Just a measly little flashback, even in which he seemed to degrade himself?

When the only person who vowed to remember him was sukuna

When not even his own students mourned his death.

How infuriating, cruel, disgusting even

How i long to embrace and tell him that he is appreciated, that his love and dreams are valid too

That to me, he isnt the strongest but is the garden of love i wish to nurture

Satoru, my satoru

Without the limitless or the six eyes

あいしてる 五条 悟<3

----------------------------------------------------------

I wrote this at 3am pls excuse the mistakes if any

[oceansssblue]

100 CELEBRATION — PROMPT 14. TELEPATHY

TECH / F READER 💖(🔥)

WARNINGS: BRIEF MENTIONS OF INSECURITIES, SEXUAL THOUGHTS BUT NO PROPER SEX SCENE.

NOTES: Here we have a fluffy and sweet/sensual one for our dear Tech. Oh, how I love that man... Let me know if you' ve liked it and reblog if you can. We've only got 3 more prompts for the 100celeb left (with our boys Rex, Cross, and Echo). See you on the next one! Xx, Blue.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Tech had a strict rule; he would not use his mind-reading ability on anyone if not for safety reasons exclusively. That meant, for example, that he was able –and would– use his telepathy to find out Cid's ulterior plans –plans the Trandoshan never mentioned to Hunter– ; but he would control himself and refrain from reading his brother's minds outside of missions and the like. If Tech didn't consider someone in danger, he would silence the thoughts that so often slipped uninvited into his mind.

However, even his own strict rule had to be broken on the rare occasion. Sometimes, the few people he cared about weren't in inminent physical danger; but experimenting some sort of emotional stress that they couldn't always resolve by themselves. Watching them suffer in silence when he might have been able to help if only he had been informed of the nature of their affliction... Well, in those cases, Tech felt morally obliged to intervene.

All this considered, there's no valid reason for him to use his telepathy on you today; but he can't help himself. He had tried to reach a logical conclusion for your behaviour around him lately; to no avail. What he knows is that you can't stand to be in the same space as him for more than a few minutes at a time. He had brushed it aside as mere coincidences at first -you had forgotten something, or had to help Omega with another-; but after a whole month of quiet observation, Tech can't deny the truth any longer. It hurts, the thought of you finding him so irritating or disliking him so much that you inmediately shied away from his presence; but he wants to know what exactly you can't stand about him. Perhaps he can find a solution to it... Tech isn't fond of many people; but he is of you, and he values the friendship that had slowly blossomed between the two of you. He thought you did too, he was sure of it. He needs to know what has changed.

And so the next time you rush out of the cockpit to the sonic, after putting an abrupt end to your conversation with him once again, Tech tunes your thoughts in. Your voice echoes inside his head in a series of stressed whispers. He has to concentrate to discern the jumbled words from one another; your mind is working light speed.

"Oh my god, will I ever stop messing up my words every time I talk to him? With how impossibly smart he is, he probably thinks I'm stupid by now!"

Then, a firm, clear sentence -Tech can imagine you pointing at yourself at the mirror, frustrated-.

"Get your shit together!"

He hears the door of the sonic opening and your footsteps moving in the direction of the bunks.

Alone with his own thoughts again, Tech ponders the new information around. He's relieved to know that at least you don't seem to be angry or irritated at him per se. You just seem to be intimidated by his intelligence; which is more of a compliment than anything else, really. Still, he can't help but feel guilty. Had he ever acted in a way that has made you feel undervalued? Had he off-handedly critiqued any aspect of your psyche? Made an unfortunate comment on how your mind processes things? He doesn't believe so; but it wouldn't surprise him either. For all the intelligence he posseses, he knows he often lacks of emotional tact; something that his brothers -Wrecker, in particular- seem to be well versed in.

Ah, there's always things to learn, mm?

He'll try to make you feel more at ease next time.

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Tech is pleasantly surprised to have you tagging along in his exploration of Arkana's forest. The rest of The Batch had decided to stay in The Marauder, catching up on some sleep; but he had prefered to take the chance to observe the planet's rich ecosistem before they had to make their way back to Ord Mantell the following morning. You had inmediately jumped at the oportunity as well. Tech would have thought that an hour expedition would have been too much for you to be in his presence; but you had joined him with a bright smile, and half an hour later, your mood is just as friendly.

Arkana's forest is a surprising mix of bright colourful flora. There's not as much green as one would have expected; but instead, trees and flowers grow in vibrants blues, pinks and yellows. Your eyes widen in awe at a bright neon magenta flower that is as tall as yourself; steps slowing down to admire it.

"What's its name?" you ask him, curiously.

Tech doesn't need to consult his datapad; he knows exactly what it is.

"Fluoridium flowers. Their shine is not a property of the plant per se, but a result of different kinds of neon-like minerals in Arkana's soil. It is often used as..." Tech notices the way you're silently staring at him, an almost lost expression on your face.

He remembers your thoughts on him; and the rest of his explanation quickly dies on his throat. He doesn't want to overwhelm you with unnecessary information. He ends his info-dumping -as Crosshair used to call it- with a few brief words.

"Let's just say it has a lot of uses".

He nods to himself, and then re-starts their walk through the forest. You follow him inmediately, frowning in confusion at his interrumpted explanation.

"For example?" you ask him, and Tech shoots a carefull glance back at you.

"I didn't think you'd be interested in knowing that".

His words bring a honest, surprised expression on your face.

"Why not?" you sound highly confused.

You can't help but think you've done something wrong. It had looked like Tech had wanted to share the information with you; and then he had stoped himself from continuing after taking a look at your face. Had you done something you weren't aware of?

Tech's eyes flicker around the forest almost avoiding you.

"I wouldn't want to bore you" he answers, voice quiet and hesitant.

Tech is never hesitant. He might not know everything; but even then, his usual way of talking is always confident and self-assured. He has no problem in admiting a lack of knowledge in something; he'd admit it in the same firm tone he uses for everything. Why is he acting so strange now?

His words tug at your heart. Perhaps something has happened without you noticing it. Perhaps there had been some sort of discusion between the brothers; or some fleeting comment Tech had taken too personal.

You are enamoured by him; he could never bore you.

For the first time in perhaps forever, you reach your hand towards his wrist; tugging him into a stop and looking up into his eyes with your cheeks lighted up in a faint blush.

"I find all your explanations interesting" you sum up the courage to add "I like hearing you talk, Tech".

You shoot him a small, soft smile; fingers squeezing his wrist softly before letting him go.

Tech is momentarily stunned. He is first confused by the contradiction between your recent afirmation and the thoughts he had heard from you just a few days ago; he is also surprised by the tender affection he reads on your eyes. Your honest little admission sends a warm feeling to his heart.

You're still looking at him; perhaps waiting for an answer, a reaction from him. Tech's heart speeds up. He feels the need to listen to your mind tingling through his veins; and he allows himself that little exception again, just this time.

"How could you ever be boring? You're like a living encyclopedia. And you look so adorable when you're explaining something, specially when you raise your index. I like seing how excited you get, how you come to life. Ah, Tech, if only you knew... I could hear you talking all day".

Tech blushes instantly; slipping out of your mind and trying to hide the way hearing you "talk" about him is making him feel. He must have gotten something wrong. You evidently still enjoy spending time with him; you... Care. Those first thoughts he read from you last time must have been born of your own insecurities; insecurities he would try to help you leave behind.

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You like when the cockpit is at it's maximum capacity. It means you're able to watch Tech with other posible distractions claiming his attention; masking your unwavering interest. Right now, for example, he's listening to Wrecker's and Omega's chattering; making a few brief interventions here and there. He's also piloting The Marauder back to Ord Mantell; and shooting some carefully concerned glances at Hunter, who was injured in The Batch's last mission in Targa. He has always been an expert at multitasking.

You, on the other hand, are focused on just one thing; Tech himself. How his hair is slightly ruffled after the mission, and the way his eyes seem to softly shine with the hyperspace lights. His pouty lips; and the way his long legs look when he spreads his knees apart, turning in the direction of his brothers once The Marauder is set on autopilot.

Fuck, how you wish you could be standing -or kneeling- between those legs...

Tech suddenly stutters in his speech, his cheeks blushing perhaps as a result of something one of his brother's had said. It pulls you out of your thoughts for a minute; your eyes focusing on how cute he looks with the soft tint of embarassment on his face. It's not an expression you often see on him.

You're really helpless when it comes to Tech. Your mind inmediately swings to dirty thoughts; pondering wether he'll get a similar expresion if he'd get flustered at sex. Would he be shy, cheeks set on fire and a timid, adorable wide-eyed expresion on his face? Or would he be as confident and firm as usual, making you melt at his feet with a few caresses and well aimed words? You'd be eager to please him either way, that's for sure.

Tech stands up abruptly; clearing his throat nervously, face impossibly flushed now. His eyes flicker everywhere around the room, and he inmediately makes a hasty exit muttering a rushed excuse. Your eyes trail after him in concern; asking the rest of The Batch about him in case you got lost on something important that would explain his sudden and unexpected retreat.

"What was that?" you whisper to his brothers, half confused and half concerned.

Hunter's eyes snap back at you. He looks uncomfortable; shifting in his place.

"You tell me" he answers, criptycally, inmediately turning his attention to Meg.

What does that even mean? He... He couldn't have known what you were thinking about, could he? Well, with how perceptive he is, perhaps he might have guessed the direction of your thoughts with those heightened senses of his... But certainly not Tech, right? He's smart, yes, but you hadn't been that obvious, had you? Or were your thoughts so clearly written in your face?

Wrecker bumps his shoulder into yours, trying to integrate you into the conversation and diffuse the sudden weird atmosphere that had set around you. You shoot him a soft smile; though your mind is still being pulled in Tech's direction, who had all but ran away to hide in the bunks.

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Tech had been fighting your thoughts for one whole month now. And fighting was the apropiate word; because it had been madenning difficult to focus on anything else but the way you seem to lose your atention on the outside word when you focus on him. It had been a complete shock at first; his mind needing a few days to process this change of perspective. The realisation that your only problem with him was that you liked him a bit too much, that he made you impossibly nervous, had been hard to accept. Tech would have thought you'd go for someone like Hunter; but no, you were utterly interested in him. He didn't really understand why at first; but as weeks passed, he had listen to all kind of thoughts about him -from sincere admiration to soft tenderness to hungry lust-, and he guessed he could understand your reasons now.

Needless to say, he had been a mess. He was always so composed; but your thoughts about him had shattered his control to pieces. He spent most of his days either flustered, or lost in your own thoughts; to the point the rest of his brothers had noticed it. Hunter, who knew exactly what was going on, had encouraged him to bring the conversation to you; but even if he knew how you saw him, he was still a bit unsure. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable; and he still felt guilty of invading your privacy. What if you got furious at him? Never wanted to see him again? That would be heartbreaking.

The situation couldn't continue for much longer, though; he was distracted, and he needed to be focused on their missions -to keep all of them as safe as possible-. He had no other option than to confront you. Though perhaps... perhaps his way of going about it wasn't the most wise.

Hunter had gone to Cid's to deliver their part of the deal; while Wrecker and Omega had decided to celebrate with a few games of dejarik and Mantel Mix. Echo, though tired, had tagged along as well; if only for keeping a responsible eye on them. You had claimed to be tired as well; so you had stayed in The Marauder with him.

You were currently sitting next to Tech; watching him tinker about with an old datapad of his he was trying to fix so Omega could have her own one. He could feel the weight of your stare on his face; momentarily glancing down at his hands each handfull of minutes. The tension was palpable between the two of you; and Tech couldn't help but tune in into your thoughts once again. You were practically screaming them to him...

"Fuck, look at those fingers... So long and skilled... He really does have beautiful hands. If only I could feel them on me..."

Tech feels a small rush of excitement slowly igniting inside of him. He tries to focus on the task at hand; a futile attempt. Your thoughts keeps slipping onto his mind.

"Inside me. Fuck, wish I could feel them inside me. Clench on them while he licks my clit with his tongue and I could dig my fingers into his hair, push him against me, and he'd get me ready for his cock and... Oh, god, what would his cock feel like?"

Tech is so dizzy with the raw hunger and need laced in your words he blurts out an answer without wanting too.

"I wouldn't be opposed to trying that".

He realises, far too late, that his thought hand't stayed in the safe privacy of his mind; but exposed out loud for you to hear as well. His eyes widen in surprise.

"W-what?" you stutter, terrified of having spoken your own thoughts out loud.

Tech blushes and watches you nervously. The cat is out of the bag, now.

"I-I... Please forgive me, you were thinking very loudly and I could not help but listening in and..." he explains hurriedly, your expresion only switching from confused terror to terrified surprise.

"What do you mean? You... You can read people's mind?" You almost squeak, shocked at not having heard of any of this until now.

Tech nods, guiltily, and the realisation of your crush being aware of all you've fantasized about him makes your cheeks burn in pure embarassment.

"I'm sorry!" you inmediately apologise, wanting nothing more than to stand up and run away. "I-I..."

"It is not your fault" Tech inmediately cuts in, taking a deep, calming breath as if he is nervous himself. "There is nothing for you to apologise for. In fact, I am the one who should. Please forgive me, mesh'la. I did not intend to invade your privacy like this. I first thought you had a problem with me, and so I peaked into your mind twice to figure out why, and... And I should have stopped there, but the way you continued to stare at me made me curious and... I'm sorry, mesh'la".

You soften at the honesty of his words; and the affectionate way he calls you beautiful in Mando'a. You glance up at him cautiously; embarassment slowly melting away with his positive reaction.

"So you're not... You're not uncomfortable, then?"

Tech's cheeks are still slightly red; though he forces his eyes to stay on yours.

"No. It was a shock at first, I must admit; but your thoughts have never made me felt that way. Nervous, distracted, turned on... Yes, but not uncomfortable" he pauses and carefully adds "like I said, I wouldn't be opposed to try any of them".

You almost jump at the chance; but there's something else holding you back. You don't want this to be a one time thing. You don't want this to be merely sexual. He knows all your thoughts on this; it's just fair you get to find his.

"Did you... Did you hear all the non-sexual thoughts about you too? About us?" you ask him quietly.

Tech responds to your vulnerability with a warm smile. His hand slowly reaches down to yours; sending a shiver through your spine.

"I did. And I'd like to try those as well, cyare" he whispers, a confesion that stays just between the two of you.

Your heart soars; the explosive rush of happiness pushing a radiant smile on your face, happy tears on your eyes.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes" you chant in your head. And then, in case he's listening... "Kiss me, Tech".

You catch a brief glimpse of his answering smile before his lips join yours in a soft, passionate kiss. You sigh into him, melting against the carefull hands that slowly come up to craddle one side of your face and your left hip. Tech hums in contentment. His own swirl of excited, tender thoughts mix with the ones that slips from your mind into his. You kiss and kiss; and the passion and affection burning in both of you is so similar he does not longer differentiate in between.

THE END.

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You can read the other prompts for the 100celeb here:

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